Randy Johnson

August 20, 1971 - Tennessee
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So Easy A Caveman Can Do It Part 2

I'm a cave man who carries a club.
I'm very dirty because I live in a cave and I've never seen a bathtub.
My body smells like manure and my hair smells like pee.
People jump through windows just to get away from me.
Those Geico.com commercials are mean and unfair.
They think cavemen are primitive because we drag women by their hair.
I'm not primitive but I do smell worse than a corpse that has decomposed.
If we ever meet face to face, you'll have to put a clothespin on your nose.
I haven't bathed since I was born which has been over three decades.
Maybe that's the reason why I've never been laid.
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