Randy Johnson

August 20, 1971 - Tennessee
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Shoplifting

One day I wanted to get my girlfriend a gift.
It was terrible because I decided to shoplift.
I tried to steal something that I should've bought.
Like many other shoplifters, I was caught.
I offered to pay for the perfume that I tried to steal.
But they decided to prosecute me and I felt ill.
It was scary when they locked me in a cell.
After I was released, things didn't go well.
It was stupid to think that I'd get off scotfree.
When I saw my girlfriend, she dumped me.
When I think about what happened, I get a chill.
Please listen to me when I tell you not to steal.

(THIS IS A FICTIONAL POEM BUT SADLY MANY PEOPLE DO SHOPLIFT.)
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