Randy Johnson

August 20, 1971 - Tennessee
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Married More Times Than Elizabeth Taylor

A couple of my wives left because of the way they were treated.
But most of them left because I cheated.
My last wife left because I have the mouth of a sailor.
I've been married more times than Elizabeth Taylor.
Is adultery really grounds for a divorce?
When I ask my therapist, he says of course.
I've been married eighteen times and I'm only thirty-six.
When I get married, my wives usually leave pretty damn quick.
When it comes to a certain part of my anatomy, I'm not well-endowed.
That doesn't help and neither does having the face of a sow.
When women see what they're getting, they don't like it at all.
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