Randy Johnson

August 20, 1971 - Tennessee
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Lousy Pilot

I decided to fly planes for a living.
I learned that there are a lot of people who are unforgiving.
At pilot school the tests were hard so I cheated.
People beat the crap out of me and a doctor was what I needed.
When I flew my one and only flight for Delta Airlines, I had to admit that I didn't know how to land the plane.
I got my ass kicked so many times that I take pills to dull the pain.
I told the copilot to land the plane but he said he cheated too.
People began to panic but then a kid figured out what to do.
This ten year old boy landed the plane and everyone was relieved.
Now I'm ashamed to admit that a ten year old is smarter than me.
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