Randy Johnson

August 20, 1971 - Tennessee
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Little Red Riding Hood

(This is a fictional poem)

I'm the wolf who was going to eat Little red riding hood.
She kicked my ass even though I didn't think she could.
I was going to eat her as I was lying in her granny's bed.
She beat me so hard that I wished that I was dead.
She knew I wasn't her grandma because I am very hairy.
I didn't know that she had a gun in that basket she carries.
She pulled out her 44 and blew off one of my balls.
Then she laughed because my genitalia is so small.
Red riding hood untied her granny and there was no escape.
Granny had me cornered and I got raped.
I've decided to stay away from girls and grannies for good.
My life would be so much better if I hadn't met Little red riding hood.
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