I'm an incompetent Doctor, yes it's true.
If you become my patient, chances are I'll lose you.
My life is always up in smoke.
Because of the lawsuits, I'm broke.

I accidentally gave type O blood to a man who needed type B.
His family ordered their two dobermans to attack me.
They chewed on my face and ripped up my Armani suit.
Before the scars, I was actually cute.

When I operated on a man, I accidentally sewed a surgical instrument inside of him.
His family beat me with baseball bats when I told them.
Last week I operated on George Bush and I lost him too.
I thought people would be mad but instead they said 'thank you'.