Randy Johnson

August 20, 1971 - Tennessee
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Held At Gunpoint

Two months ago I decided to visit another state.
I thought it would be fun but it turned out not to be so great.
As I walked by Lindsay Lohan's house, I heard a loud cry.
I ran in her yard and saw her being held at gunpoint by a strange guy.
He was enraged and he wanted her dead.
He threatened to pull the trigger as he held the gun to her head.
I tried to reason with him but he shot me in the shoulder.
I fell to the ground and decided to make a move that was bolder.
When I got up, I threw a handful of dirt in his eyes.
I kicked the gun out of his hand and then I clobbered the guy.
Lindsay offered me a reward but I turned it down.
I already got a reward just by knowing that she's still around.
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