Randy Johnson

August 20, 1971 - Tennessee
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Elmer Fudd Shot Me

(This is a fictional poem)

I decided to sleep with a woman who I met on a bus.
Her husband shot me because he caught us.
When I got shot, the bed was covered with blood.
I looked to see who shot me and it was Elmer Fudd.
I begged him for mercy but he said no.
I have no privates because he shot me below.
Obviously rabbits aren't the only things he shoots.
I got a good lawyer and I bankrupted him in a lawsuit.
Today Fudd told me that I'm pathetic and that he's appalled.
I told him that I might be pathetic but at least I'm not poor and bald.
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