Matthew Conrad

May 15, 1986 - Ostrowiec Świętokrzyski
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tech critique (the poemist would be great)

let's just cut past the cute crap of writing
"grand" poetics for a moment...

the poemist would be great -
if... it didn't count the number of times
you clicked on said poem:
to, "check up" - to see traction
for yourself...
in that: you viewing your own
material... wasn't treated as...
someone else viewing it...

it's not a waiting game...
i never find any time for improvement...
i'm thinking about...
how good that egg-fried rice
and sticky chicken sweet & salty
chicken will taste like for
someone's lunch...

and how to make that bad-ass
pizza base and how to arrange...
a meat-fest pizza with a classic
pepperoni & three peppers...
i have the meatballs already...

but i see the general dynamic of this site...
10 reads? that's a wow moment...
in the immediate sense...
and i am talking in the medium of immediately...
i sometimes like to see traction:
like a stock-broker likes to see
share prices either rise or fall...

no poem is as good as to acclaim for itself
a reading of 20+ views within a space
of 1 day...

i am: and i am not... interested in view
counts... i am interested in that:
it's good to know that there's a 0 behind it...
i'd much prefer to see a 0...
than...
this... dynamic of self-inflating
views...

this medium doesn't have the same sort
of dynamic associated with
other... free-grabbers... of attention...
but... view-counts are not transparent...
i'll add about +2 / +3 to every poem:
views... after +2 i usually become
discouraged into peering into what
would... best remain a 0 count view...

but no... i see poems inflated to 20+ views
and i sense...
there must be a universal fraction
sentimentality that i share with others...
about checking for traction -
it's rather necessary to know:
whether or not someone likes something...
at least then i can be dissuaded...
and i rarther be dissuaded than
encouraged...

reading habbits... if i do like something:
i will read it... notably ... hellopoetry.com: mote...
genuine...
once or twice a year i will
travel to see my grandparents and end up
reading... roughly 2000+ pages in a space
of 6 weeks... give or take: circa...
no one is going to bother
reading... via a medium of a screen
that is worse than staring at the sun
come zenith... esp. at night:
i gather that... i too miss paper...
paper nostalgia: what else?

but there is a technical "fault" bound
to the poemist...
whenever i click onto my poem...
to see for traction...
i shouldn't be able to increase view count...
i should be obstructed from adding
to the view count...
the view count shouldn't increase
upon an again-viewing scenario...

as mentioned: i might have inflated views
in the vicinity of +2... within a period of a week...
give or take: circa...
how else to check: what do people like /
what do people... dislike?

for all that is served: i too wish
to move onto the next night that permits me
some scribbles...
the view-count is awfully constructed...

tomorrow i will view these words again:
i'll probably see: viewed 1 or 2 times...
which will imply that if you see these
words after i have again viewed them:
to find any typos...
the view count will include me viewing it:
which will stand at 3...

and if you were to view this: once more...
the count will be 4...
and if you were to view this... again...
for no other reason...
you will see the view count jump to 5...

something is crucially wrong...
the view count should remain static upon
second innings...
and i should not be able to add to
the view count, not as the author...
because i sincerely believe that authors on
this site are deluding themselves...
i've been on sites where i would
look back at what i've written and
wonder: why do people like this so much,
there's absolutely nothing spectacular
about this... being finished:
oh sure... it was spectacular in-the-moment...
but now? it looks like a hot pile of shit!

sometimes bechancing the odd typo...
being a "neurotic" / perfectionist...
but i can't imagine self-generating
view counts is something to waste my time with...

one of my poems:

the darwinism behind zoology |
the psychology of the mind without will / soul
148 Total read - this viewership is
probably a +3 inflation...
it will be... given that i've just checked it...
by the time i've finished reading this...
the number will stand at 149 total read...
because i have just checked it...

that's an authentic "poem"...
give or take...
unless that's also 10 people rereading it 10 times
and 10 other people getting the chance...
however many times... etc.

but this is a "serious" problem with the poemist.com,
as long as this is still a serious site...
the view count should be: blockade rigid...
i do not add to the view count...
as the "author"...
nor do repeated viewings of the same
poem by anyone else...
unique investment of a view is entombed
within each unique viewer...

rather democratic...
1 view per 1 viewer -
0 views per 1 author...
and this is given a linear trajectory...
because i do want to see authentic traction...
1 view per 1 viewer...
0 views for the author: checking up
on his typos...
and "typos"...

perhaps the poemist.com was a pet project
of some yet unknown programmer?
i do remember the very basics of
writing in html or whatever the technical
term is... a static https...
yes... a non-interactive https...
i'm no wizard here...
i still do know why they taught as:
electron migration diagrams in organic
chemistry... since... they appear
and disappear from one part of sludge
to another...
in the end you get carboxylic bonds
and esters and what not...

over at minds.com i recently posted:

- excerpt from a (adjective missing) mind -

really? that much different? "apologies" for butting in with my two-cents a copper-plating of thought... between a religious "society" and one under... no, no... not under chinese scrutiny... scientific scrutiny... "we" once "held to account" the baggage of original sin... plagiarism? i.e. "original sin"... the irony... but i would have otherwise lived with the baggage of original sin... now? now i live under the scrutiny of genes... my "sin" is worse than under original sin... born 1986 in the firing line of Chernobyl... the pulverißing wave of radiation: i was born with a "kidney" on my back... if i take as truth that my grandmother did have an abortion... what was i, screaming with a hernia as a toddler? point being... i would much prefer living under the scrutiny of an "original" sin than in this current scientific climate of living under a barrage of facts... so many facts are necessary... but after a while... even fiction doesn't aid a narrative... trivia and regurgitation... this much of science and... as far as i am concerned: didn't anyone witness how science fiction... died? no one bothered to see how science-fiction (the genre of literature) fizzled out... and was replaced with fifty shades of grey and drag-queen reading hour for the toddlers? at least... when the sort of fiction that religion supported... the fictive goal was: to keep going... or some otherwise "somehow"... a hope a futility a... but this cuts deeper than any original sin: for fear that i might conceive it... unconsciously... in a future... but at least i would get on with my shitty shelved life with it... scientific realism - being bombarded by a genetic baggage narrative? i'm no longer guilty of an original sin... i'm guilty of not passing on my genes... a sin i can stomach... transcend it... but what sort of scientific fact can i... "transcend"? transcend / falsify it? that's not exactly transcendence... constraints of subjectivism... it is needed... it's not required... but it is needed... weather-forecast objectivism narratives? this push to forget being a subject to... to have to always object to something... to be objective is to always object to something: and castrate oneself with a supposed symbiotic narrative... to be objective is to also somehow transcend being subjected to these laws... i still don't know why i should care so much for my genes... why this gargantuan lifespan of life... how chemistry / physics is best allowed a late-stage narrative of our evolution... while biology is necessary via a "fiat" of excuses of: waking up once, in a lifetime of falling asleep 21,900 number of times (circa)... i'm the fucking turkey that's to be the glutton of scientific facts... i don't... have... a... narrative... i don't... have... knowledge! i... have... trivia! almost 70% of these scientific facts are beside my otherwise automated rumination of existence... science too has its tabloid spew: psychology'r'us bollocks: the time of: hiding behind science and making false claims... in the time of religion, a heresy would be punished by an offering at the stake... now? scientific liberalism can lie all it wants... certain realities i can't object to: i am subjected to them... "question" is... do i wish to be objective (object to it)... or be subjective (be subjected to it) - about it? do i rebel... pass on faulty genes or keep them to myself? i'm pretty sure that being born just after the Chernobyl holocaust... into a family that hosted a grandmother who had two children and an abortion... leech... my my... i just watched a documentary about chinese one-child state policy... it really is life / death when it (the cum sludge) passes from one body to the other... like i mentioned prior: i ejaculate a genocide once a day... why i'm still not a crimminal: only britney spears know... psst... no 5pm shadow... but i don't like the sort of baggage that science is serving... i am found guilty of not passing my genes... genes don't really speak: to begin with... and the narrative that was passed down to me? has a maximum lifespan of a 3 generational gap for me to fuse with... oh i'm quiet content with science replacing religion... i can mea culpa for the rest of my life... some shit-soaked bollocks... because i will have to eventually mea culpa into the scientific domain of: facts that have replaced narratives... passing on the "original" sin was less of a burden... the curiosity... but the blank... stark naked reality of: genes? genes don't exactly deposit a personality... character... all those things that have to succumb to an: in vivo experience... and cannot be bound to an in vitro rhetoric... but of the three major sciences: chemistry, physics, biology... biology has had too much sway... in the "concept" of fathoming a narrative... the chemists did their part... drugs... the physicists did their part with the GREAT WOW of the AWE and the VACUUM of space... biology? blind-date of: meat (no, that's not a typo) me (back) in the jungle... is that cuz biology is the most humanism riddled of all the sciences - that it can spawn... a plethora of humanism? i guess it is... never has the narrative been so crap / so discredited by having to appeal to young readers... i do want to escape fantasy... but given no campfire... i'm hardly willing to escape the fiction... biology sucked up too much potential of a humanistic outlet... some scientists still have to deal with atoms... biology allowed... at least! the... what do you call them? chefs and dietary coaches? what of the mind-body duality? the body has found its totality: materialism guaranteed it... we're "talking" about a Σ-body (totality, sum, sigma of the body)... being cared for... catered... the body can "somehow" exist without a critique of the mind... what letter to couple the mind with? O-mind (mathematical notation that describes the limiting behavior of a function when the argument tends towards a particular value or infinity) - yes... and alfred jarry wrote about pataphysics... the deviation from a universal value: or a tomorrow, bound to a monday, a 25th of november, a 2019...

and men fear women because? well... if i was facing mother nature... her tornado... her axe wielding maniac... there's a chance for a shot of adrenaline to excite me and also give me a limp-dick hard-on... we're "talking" about social mores: within the shadow of the madonna - christianity and the cult of motherhood... if you have lived in any catholic nation for any period of time... did jesus really die on the cross? does it matter? no... i don't think it does... what matter is... Mary got away with the virgin birth! that's fucking spectacular... all the effort put into being crucified... nothing... there's still this facade of the: "immaculate" conception... ha ha... my sins... cult of womanhood... truly: it was really something... but if i were met with mother nature... in the form of a tornado: i'd gladly run to it... otherwise those boys in world war I trenches... they weren't sitting as spermatoid gimmicks... in the testicles of Ares... waiting for the grand ejaculation of the great churn? no? if i live to old age... and a pension: count me as being... most unlucky men will fear what can exercise social pressure norms, of a worth of "coherence" and "little jimmy had a fun time using the internet"... without "us" freaks... i can fear a woman on the simple basis that: she's not a source of adrenaline... a hard-on... and a soap-opera... and she can be the most harsh critic: while at the same time - being the most mediocre, to compensate a dialogue... yes... come to think of it... i would rather marry into a death with the daughter storm... than live a life of servitude with one of her minions of mediocre for the mere chance to: "pass on the genes" like some fucking postman from: never again this year... passing on the "original" sin... better than passing on 'the genes"... personality and character are either: noumenon quality or: a have to have had a lived experience / individuation to not bother the collective mentality of: "passing" on... i clearly don't see how science clarifies and consolidates... sure... it clarifies... then "consolidates" in order for its proponents to become mindless fact-spew brigadiers... chance you come across one of them... and the topic over a pint of beer isn't somehow related to CERN? i might be wrong... but science these days is debated as if it were a fucking jewish bagel... as in the time of the protestant / catholic schism... and "they" will call it a... "revival"... replica science from russian orthodoxy to undermine h'american protestant sensibility of: "individualism"... blah blah back into the cauldron of the Graeae...

view count? 1... i'm not bothered by the 1...
because it's an authentic 1...
after all... don't "they" all say:
you're only really writing for an audience of 1?
hence... i like the authenticity of view counts...
i don't like over-inflated counts...
which probably come to being
over-inflated... by writers on this page...
"suiciding" / self-inflicting an inflation...
i give my inflation as a +2 / +3 on each
"poem" on this site...

i really do have to think about tomorrow's pizza...
meat fest: i have the tiny meatballs...
i'll add the ham...
and i really know you shouldn't do this:
but if i guillotine an onion real thin...
that should be a worthy sidenote topping with
all that meat...

it'll be like dressing Vishnu in a collage
of fucking peacock feathers, plumerias,
lotuses, oleander and hibiscus...
or some other: "wild" alt. variation to jazz things
up!
169 Total read