Matthew Conrad

May 15, 1986 - Ostrowiec Świętokrzyski

jean genet / russian roulette / googlewhacks

i don't feel like speaking english....
eh... i'll write in it,
i'll return to reading in english:
a jean genet with music blasting me deaf...
finally! i can multitask...
but it doesn't do much service
for what's... otherwise... bothersome...
how the english rhetoricians
and the polemics rage on...

how this god-almighty couldron
of people and events is still
allowed to... churn...
jean genet and the sharpening
of knives... or the sounds of:
how does a drop in the guillotine compare
with the broken neck of the later:
hanging man?

piss-pants and 14 year olds...
piss-pants and criminals who would
never be found to be criminal...
peter steele and: an arena filled
with an anchor of orchids to drag
the eye into the depths like
a mermaid and its burdensome sailor of feast...
£5,000... and some "choice"...
i consider it the most defeated miracle
of hope...
the swiss lands...
the belgian or the dutch provicences...
between: £ / ! / ? what is ego?

for worth, for, "worth" of an impetus?
this house can really be a good enough rut...
i can catch myself in a diatribe with:
this most expnesive of tongues...
last load of having spoken...
let's hear what i want...

ich wollen zu spreschen deutsche...
nicht für erregung (fuckers forgot
the plural schlang of thrills -
in the - casually) -
how can jean genet become so
forgetful almost so immediately -
there are no sharpening of words of maxim
readied to punctu-ate...

there's no Manhattan on the horizon
or... whatever else is to become as apparent
as the only h'america: fly-over h'america...
and then there's some world...
beside h'america there's always
some: "beside" world...

an ante- theatre of "events"...
because they are... just... "events"...
i sometimes watch the news in order
to find a god... or rather... a trait of god...
but even the media is a pale comparison
of what omnipresence constitutes...
in the old days: you had the many god...
now? one god and all...

but with such a litany of all things
impossible... i too would be stranded
occupying myself with: why didn't Saturn...
or Jupiter... the planets... "work"?
why would i even bother to visit... h'earth?
the world and the working-canvas of the ape...
something that "happened" in
the currency of time via the denoting
title of a: 17th / 18th century...
something basic...

and then... the dawn of modernity...
like some... forever event of
objectivity... the west was first to denounce
subjectivity...

the first in that:
i hardly think it necessary to over-think
(über-denken) a "concern"...
concern: that immoveable artifact like
something born in archeology and strapped
to a mountain of time...
a re...

reliloqui....

ego: "dyslexia"... a near googlewhack...
8 or so end-results...
i have to forget the one-hit wonders...
because the 8 solved result summaries
are more... "inclined" to satiate me...

re: lilo qui (merde)...
liturgicotheologicomorale sive sacri ritus ...

fuck me! no better!

relilaqui...

a googlewhack!
re lil aqui:
Fire Emblem Heroes Les Debutti!
savannah-alto 818 dei amp; amp ...

there's actually a concrete word i'm
thinking of...

ah... "missing" syllables...

reliquary...

the R in english can sometimes
feel like a H-surd in hindi:
it's there... but you don't trill it...
so? why Sysiphus the "rest"?
Sisyphus... SiSi...
does it matter whether
it's an iota first and a ý not later?
not an iota with a floating "head"
like a halo, above the stump?

γ last time i heard was a G...
but a hollowed out ý?
sissy - though? a friend with mild manners...
σισιφυς contra: σίσυφος -

well there's always the F's contra
via: the key the keyhole
and the opening of a door...

Φ - Θ - F'ah-F'ahR "here" and "there"...

inquiry... quarry - queue... Q and a prolonged
U entangling... somehow an E...
query - what Q in Content - and being?
same as Qat same as Qollected...
(quo- and qua- and...
a cancan tease of a full striptease
should the Mowlaine Rouge
was to matter...)

famous incels... Kant... was a monk...
Munch, was a monk...
the concept of a levitating a piece
of wood... that didn't become a ship...
but a bridge... to cross a river:
and invite time...

perhaps just enough to ςite...
in that i'll also cite... in that the sigma will also
appear in the attire of a garçon...
this high tier affair of waiting for tables
in Paris...
whereas in London...
the conveyor belt ergonomics is just...
amnesia and...

oh there's just so much more i want
to remember...

this is my best estimate of what music
can look like... when the only "music"
is what's being written...
when it "borrows" from...
at least three sources...
the ego doesn't seem to want to die...
Latin doesn't want to die...
it should... what use is orientating
intelligence around atomised words...
akin to: id or ego?

i'd call that lazily attempting narrative...
3rd person constructs without
a worth of a book to mind...
rather a fudge packet of a "person"...
to have kept these latin words...
hell... elevated them toward a rubric
and sediment meaning...
dogma... is like playing the half-wit
Vishnu with three arms rather than four...

Hebrew, didn't die either...
but you see a hebrew speak dalmation
poke-em-where-it-feels-funny?
either Latin dies... or it doesn't die...
the phonetic encoding will not die...
it's has made dents into
inorganic matters akin to computer coding...

but why the fuck am i still
flying this "ego" kite?!
i, aye... q: cue: kitten: cat...
quodratic... fear of the revenge of sigma?
via a french waiter?!
question: correct: ketamine...
which tells you a lot...
if you don't employ diacritical markers:
accents...
you have to rely on the slimming skim "reading"
a Q can become a C and a C can become a K...

bollocks with the whole lot of all of this.
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