sometimes days like these come,
and go,
out of their own volition -
such days when i don't mind having
my own will -
some variant of the illusion of
the mind in units of ego is there -
but at the same: not really...
the day passes and no thought
really enters my mind -
i submit myself to the celestial
carousel and...
in summary:
whether i write something of substance,
or write nothing: or barely this...
well... so be it: that cyrillic poo'em
exhausted me...
to compenstate?
i've found a new record label...
yes: i do remember when dub-step
had its moment back in 2007:
died a very sudden death...
well, exceptions can be minded:
distance - vex'd - burial -
Detriti Records...
why do i feel so lazy?
well... you would too...
if you made, garnished with mint leaves:
homemade strawberry ice-cream...
the sort of ice-cream where there
are still bits of strawberry...
and nothing really mattered
except the ice-cream...
go figure... everything you can make
at home is 100% better than
what you buy in the shops
or what you get from a take-away...
you know you've washed your hands...
you know what ingredients you're
using...
moroccan khobz... no problem...
indian chapati... it's not exactly rocket
science...
i'm still figuring out
when i'll buy some gelatin and make
a panna cotta... even a soufflé
isn't that hard: 20, 2nd year at university...
what a splendid rise...
a change from shitty studen
food my flatmates made...
i remember one instance quiet
clearly...
Antony... spaghetti and salt...
that's all he ate...
horrid times...
nothing as spectacular as not
being bound to the pursuit of happiness...
as one slovak pointed:
why by happy, when you can be interesting?
true...
but happiness is as much
an agitation (to keep it from
it being a fleeting sensation) as is fear,
or whatever antonym is required...
i prefer my pursuit:
an open ended case of:
contentment...
the milder and more tentative
form of happiness...
to pursue is a wrong assumption -
to let it come of its own will...
a gratification that is
self-evident, while not being
self-eventual -
a self-eventuality will
come to make summary of this day...
when i've had just enough whiskey
and ginger ale... when the humidity in
this room with filter out...
when i take my k.o. cocktail
of 25mg of amitriptyiline and 250g of
naproxen... put on some horror movie
soundtrack... and fall asleep
within 15 minutes...
imagine... reading biography...
that can focus on the most mundane
details of: a day in a life...
grand events...
jumping between months, years,
decades...
strawberry ice-cream today...
blueberry ice-cream tomorrow...
and hopefuly some proper english
sausage rolls if the weather
is benevolent to do some work in
the kitchen...
besides all this...
i am yet to come across a more gratifying
soundtrack - whether falling asleep
or waking up: than the sound
of rain...
just as today happened:
i woke up to this greeting...
rain rain rain...
so much: from so little.