Matthew Conrad

May 15, 1986 - Ostrowiec Świętokrzyski
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bored of conventional clautrophobic narration

i once came across people...
so you've tasted bowie,
you've tasted tom waits...
and bob dill'e'oh (n)...

my... what else is there to...
sharpen your appetites
from the pop
droppings of this cultural
behemoth?

bouts of john coltraine's
a love supreme...
miles davis' bitch's brew...

what? hell no...
penderecki? you went that far?
prog rog?
anything outside the sensible
demands
of king crimson's debut?

yes? really? that far...
no... don't tell me...
you had to go and find...
Emerson Lake & Palmer...

peter gabriel's genesis?
this is the ultra-weird
territory...
no... don't tell me...
the Canterbury Scene:
the soft machine...

or tangerine dream?

at the drive in?
you went as far
as the mars volta...
came back with a headache
full of thought?
when a headache
became the sort of pain
most welcome...
since you were
bound in a Promethean pose
unable to think,
when thinking became a pain?

as i said to most of them...
you have probably listened to some music...
and having listened to some music,
you could only come
across frank zappa...

and after coming across frankie boy'oh...
zapping and tying up
all the zippers of horny boy
trousers...

came a relapse into some sort
of melody to drown out
the coming cul de sac of a discoteque
revival...
you had to move toward
to some medieval music
to escape the drag of both classical
music and jazz...

an interlude with some drinking
and blues...
beside the melodies of soap
bubbles surding pop...

some pop 'ere... a pop 'ver 'der...
who could ever not find some sort of
claustrophobia in their self -
and that extension of thinking -
and that jack in a box:
of the self- prefix attache...
or that -self suffix calvarly riding
donkey's asses first and heads
wondering where the ostriches went

(apparently digging for china)...
you first listen to music,
and then exhaust listening to music,
and then you come across
frank zappa...
and then you're listening to frank
zappa and nothing of worth...
and then somehow...
like a drowning man having
to catch a razor blade to refrain from
drowning...
in the shallows of...

god, save my soul...
britney spears' criminal...
and thus comes the seasaw...

who? the conventional poet in first person?
who? the conventional literary affluent
playing with puppets for a worth of
characters?
even he who could fathom
a company of a self that could
come to the conclusion of a body of a mourning
wake, will have to somehow master
alternative measures of escapaism...
projecting a telepathic narrative
into a body of a cat...

by the saving graces of pop...
can we somehow put before the altar
of... the sort of thinking man's music...
their vanity dialectic to purpose...
if i so wish to push a narrative
into my cat's head...
i simultanoeusly see no point
in agitating the mirror -
a mirror... nothing but a curiosity
for the eyes...
and the eyes alone...
as long as eyes see eyes...
point given:
almost everything else is most...
dissatisfying:
with or without the eye of the beholder...
and what is the discussion
regarding, "beauty" -

a mirror exists for the curiosity
of the eyes -
a map of illusions...
genesis? two mirrors...
the droste effect...
if what no longer begs the curiosity
of the eyes for the sake of eyes...
then one begins
the journey into the cascade
of the mortalis gratia: exemplum...

never quiete: exempli gratia -
but "somehow", always given freely unto
the sway of: mortal freedom...
to give examples...
in the final capacity of no universal
concensus of or for "a norm";
what example is ever freely given?
a criminal will give an example of
something that has to be stolen...
an usurer will give you an example
of a wealth gained from
interest gained from $1 neither being
earned nor spent!

what exempli gratia?
what free example?
what "free" example is there when
all examples are predicated on
a bondage to the predecessor examples ad nauseam?
em... if hedonism didn't solve
the riddle of nihilim...
etc. etc.,
what free example?
are examples of thieves freely granted
as examples to be imitated,
or examples... to be imitated
with a peril of consequences?

backwards and forwards with keeping
the categorical ancient latin,
while using a modern english shlang...
homo sapiens: man, rational,
or much quicker: rational man...

such the burden...
of keeping an ancient phonetic encoding...
none of the speech...
blacklisting modern italian in h'america
as some subhuman language...
strong... the anglo-saxon take-over!
the greeks... did keep it...
what was once roman became
northern barbarian...
and... my oh my... how i love the lessons
from the north...
mid-north... mid-north itching west...
it gives me a copernican satisfaction
to at least know, where east is.
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