Matthew Conrad

May 15, 1986 - Ostrowiec Świętokrzyski

2nd islamic schism

if i'm living inthe times of a second islamic schism, i don't know what times i'm living in... as an acquired englishman, i'm tired of looking up the h'american anus, the cultural export of this Gog empire has... dwindled... i'm learning that Colorado is very different from Wyoming... shit... had i looked hard enough, i'd probably posit the same observation governing the Russian Federation... it's almost as if: "united states of" is only a namesake and a flag... and an olympic get together... a bit like the united kingdom... there's a g.b. olympic team... but there's football / rugby england vs. scotland scenario... 'ello 'ello in rosyja: the republic of adygea... the altai republic... tuva, tatarstan... udmurt... i was ignorant... until i started spotting more videos concerning the dissection of the united state of: in name only... prior to? fuck me... raped by a cohesive cultural export of h'america! bombast big dude get together party on via a 7-11... right right... it's called a russian FEDERATION because each locus gravitates toward don republico... and a united STATES refers to... well... states... which is probably why they have the republican federalists... and the democratic confederates... simple, in a nutt-shell? take your brick... shit... pick... i'm more in favor of the brazilian... if you're lucky... you can shotgun the macadamia nut for the next feel-up of a crunch - can you even associate chow mein with chew, i.e. chewing? i hear the words chow mein i first come first served associate: slurping... nothing in chow mein to associate with chewing.

i remember the first time i heard le trio joubran -
i was passing through amsterdam with
about £3000 in cash...
with two germans and an
egyptian - the egyptian was introverted
with a bottle of absolut vodka by his bed -
i later learned he was an architecture student -
with a notebook filled with the most ingenious
doodles...
the first day i spent it with the germans -
both chefs - having a weekend away:
verbatim - 'in the promised land' -
the netherlands is to germans what
israel is to the hebrews (apparently)...
we had food, they smoked,
i drank beer and ate a hash brownie
that didn't have any effect on me...
they bought some mushrooms
i bought a bottle of absinthe with locust in it...
o.k.: a locust / a very big grasshopper -
the absinthe was called: the grasshopper...
not so much the vivid green -
more aquamarine... hell... the czechs brew
their absinthe to a vivid red or blue, or green...
at 70%... the grasshopper is tamer...
compared to the stuff i used to drink...
oh god... Hapsburg Premium Reserve Extra Strong...
95% or 98.9%...
brings back memories of drinking
polish spiritus... 99%...
anyways... the germans ended up wasting
the mushrooms, the three of us went back
to the hostel, they ingested the mushrooms
then switched on the t.v. and watched h'american dad...
in that moment me and the egyptian looked
at each other... with relief he read my
face and i read his: tomorrow? you and me...
so we went to town...
pretending to be the secret
homosexual couple associated with william
burroughs in Tangier...
but not really: the vibe was there but...
i drank beer, he smoked marijuana...
and at the last cafe we visited i decided...
fuck it, i'll have a drag...
so i dragged two or three puffs...
sober as a judge in terms of marijuana -
well... back in england they sell skunk...
vietnamese black market chemically enchanced
marijuana - the psychotic branch
of the family... one famous instance?
a guy smoked, turned psychotic,
chopped his genitals off subsequently killing his mother...
god... when will this weed debate be done
and dusted?!
i guess i was lucky with my
psychosis - i haven't been admitted to a mental
institution... go figure...
the society i'm living in is mad enough...
with mine came an exfoliating practice of vocabulary
regurgitation...
after taking in the three or so tokes
he said: 'listen to this' while giving me his headphones...
the moment i put them on...
the first second of suspence silence...
and then... an orgasm... my jaw dropped
i closed my eyes shut and one could say
that my hands were amputated...
gravity when falling is one thing...
but to experience a whrilpool of gravity...
a dervish gravity?
while sitting after a few beers and a pinch of marijuana?
when i finally opened my eyes like
some enlightened man budda-esque
with jaw dropped and a sleeping dragon
of a tongue inside the grand impasse of an
O...
the egyptian reminded me:
'that girl fancies you' - i looked toward her...
her mouth also represented the grand O
of awe...
i finally one of my amputed arms
and shoved her a V with my index and middle finger
as if a depiction of: whatever buddha showed
with the marriage of the thumb to the ring
finger... or christ's extended thumb index and middle
fingers - while the bowing of the ring and pinky finger...
she was sitting with a friend who immediately
pulled her out of the cafe as the two of them
just entered an opium den...
well... not far off...
beer + marijuana and a surprise of music...
can... it would seem... imitate opiate use...
me and the egyptian walked out of the cafe
and i can clearly remember laughing out-loud
on the street...
crying with laughter...
i wasn't even playing the timid man -
i didn't see anyone except for a clarity of light
that seemed to bounce off the most
dull objects akin to bricks...
years later i reflect...
would i want to replicate this moment?
no.... i was given insight...
i do not have the want or the will
to contaminate this insight -
to have the chance to experience the dervish gravity
with no thought in the mind -
no concept - nothing - and a sensation of a body
amounting to being a torso and a neck and a head...
a heart and nothing - with amputated limbs -
levitating in a makeshift akimbo...
drinking i can contaminate...
that's what exhausted the beatnik poets...
they contaminated the psychadelic experiences...
notably Mike McClure in the peyote poem -
it's a shame that words could be brought down
from this Olympus - in that Promethean fashion -
we're not talking recreational drugs
akin to marijuana or alcohol -
we're talking shamanic artefacts:
surely no words should be brought down
from this dimension -
to ensure the experience is not contamitated
by experience precursors...
but that's just a minor observation...
if i could replace all the sort of knowledge associated
with the study of qabbalah with that one
le trio joubran song (masar) - i would...
yet... i can't... thoughts have the nagging
persistence of recurring - morphing -
recycling themselves and mutating into something else...
i much prefer my heart to belong
to the sort of expression akin / bound to masar
by le trio joubran - utterly uncontaminated by thinking...
except: a memory asking for any sort of details
associated with that moment thinking was excluded from...
besides, you couldn't even weave in a qabbalistic
study into islam -
there's no symmetry in the name of the deity -
that's for starters - secondly? the deity is very much
masculine...
i became fascinated by this simple
arithmetic: 99 (the number of names ascribed
to Allah) - 72 (the number of names ascribed
to ha shem) = 27 -
the chiral nature of the hebrew deity
cannot be read from the quran as if the arab
deity is the hebrew deity -
99 - 72 = 27
27 + 72 = 99...
plus the "orthography" of hebrew itself -
how the hebrews hide their vowels...
how they have to consonants that,
if allowed the prefix rule: a-lpha,
b-eta, g-amma, o-mega,
th-eta...
e-psilon... well... look for yourself:

i call them the siamese twins of eden -
א (a-lef) & ע (a-yin) -
given the "hidden" niqab vowel of A
is given the name qametz דָּ - da - דָּנגרס
(dang-r-s) g-e-r?
tzere: an umlaut beneath the letter
to give you E...
r-ou-s?
cholem (a dot above a letter...
akin to ż - the overdot in latin orthography
is the vowel O in hebrew)...
and... shurek... a three dot steps of david:
.
.
. which is the hebrew U... or shurek...
i call א (a-lef) & ע (a-yin) the siamese twins
of eden, because:
if you were to borrow the prefix rule
of ascribing the first letter as the sound you were
to make, dissociating the letter from
the noun you have given the letter...
א (a-lef) & ע (a-yin) gave birth to allah...
but since the latin men didn't give names
to their letters as the greeks and the semites did...
and the latin men had to sing... the fucking song
of the good choir boys they were...
who would have thought... to come up
with an alternative to, harem...
castrato choir assembly...
not only could you fuck them...
but they also sang in between!

ingenious though:
hiding vowels like the hebrews did...
talk about the added effort of eradicating dyslexia
from the populace...
a caron s (š) is almost, almost...
but not quiet...
sh-ould you believe it, or... sh-ould to
čoose to not believe it... (SH / CH for the germanic
people... SZ / CZ for the cheap-o slavs -
learned my lessons from chernobyl i did)...

if you want to see the geometry of the name of
each represented deity (this will be "reiterated" further on)
i suggest it to be first made in, latin

YHWH (יהוה / يهوه ) -
see... no symmetry... even in arabic when their
letters lose their digit / unit spacing and becoming
digital handwritting...
the last H (ه) is dislodged from the handwritting
endeavor and... "floats aside"...
you'd probably require the vowel: E...
but since arabic is missing two vowels: E & O...
maybe the sort of required fluidity of handwriting
is "missing"...

reiteration segment:

after all... arabic has only three vowels...
the "three daughters" of allah: fatha (a), damma (u) and
kasra (i) (vowels are feminine, consonants...
masculine) - i still don't know if they're the supposed
"short" vowels, given that their depiction
in latin is imbued with a macron running above them
demanding they be elongated...

first in latin then in the concerned scripts...
YHWH
LLH...
see? no symmetry...
لله : shit, forgot the...
oh look! the offspring of the siamese twins
א (a-lef) & ע (a-yin), my my, those semites really
love to huddle together...
the family of hamza, fatha
and the child: alif -
or the name of god:
ألله
perhaps in arabic, but sure as shit no worthwhile
symmetry in latin, or hebrew...
ללה...
well sure thing sheikh yemen...
we'll have that saudi problem sorted right
this minute... we in the western world almot forgot
that the saudi arabs were akin to the russians
and you were the sort ofbaltic states of latvia and estonia
we were... looking for!

i greatly admire the imagination of this deity -
only today...
sodium chloride buns of fluff - how else to describe them?
as the sort mickiewicz castles in the sky?
clouds... aren't they the sort of sponges of salt
that invert gravity while working behind the scenes
of observable object gravity of falling or
being relieved of atmosphere - sucking up impure
waters from lakes puddles and what comes
their way: the grand salt kidneys in the sky...
clouds... aren't they merely some variant of salt puff?
they suck up the impure waters from lakes
and esp. the seas... kidney them pure...
so you can drink and wash your hair in rain water?
clouds... salt mushrooms - however many more
analogies i conjure for them before
ascribing to myself the classical psychiatry
faux pas metaphor of treating them as either
castles or swans? amazing... quiet so...
to see salt behave like it does in the architecture
of clouds...

truly... some music is only worth listening at night,
when even the cats are sleeping...
guillaume de machaut: de fortune me doi plaindre
et loer... or... jaufre rudel (1113 - 1170) -
imlaya -
catch me with a hand in a cookier jar...
my third love at first sight came in the form
of a turkish girl named layla...
shit... that might have been my fourth...
skin like a japanese porcelain geisha doll's...
that's when i conjured up the thought...
beside the current mainstream media
narrative... trouble in the middle east...
aren't we living in a time
of a 2nd islamic schism?
the first islamic schism was quick...
from the time of muhammad's death
to the assassination of Ali...
from proud Persians being unable
to bow before the upcoming royalty of camel jockey
Arabs and north africans...
why wouldn't Persia submit to the camel jockeys?!
beside the mainstream narrative...
i'm looking at something outside the comforting
confines of a lifetime...
i'm looking at a 2nd islamic schism...
a third islam is emerging...
deviating from the entreched politics
of shia and sunni islam...
oh it was waiting for the right opportunity to prop its head
up... from the Ahmadiyya movement...
what's with these semites and having to surd
the letter H-atch! fuck's sake: write something
lewd so they don't get a chance to quote you!
no shit sherlock!
that was always the way forward /
modus operandi!
they can ingest as much porn as they would like...
but f*ck "suddenly" offends them!
h'allo dyslexia... h'allo wowld!
this is the only time to be taking the piss
out of the natives.

transgender me all you wnat -
when i see a wolf: i see a wolf -
esp. a wolf in sheeps' clothing...
i only know of one transgender / androgynous -
oh wait... there's a big difference -
a transgender example isn't necessarily
an androgynous example...
i have too many fingers on one hand
to cite the examples necessary,
to fool a cis male into a picnic with a thai
surprise... brian molko of placebo fame...
and blaire white of youtube fame...
trans- which isn't some chemistry
prefix associated to the trans- / cis-
isomer... so when biology became
chemistry.... in terms of vocab...
of the two stated examples? would i fuck them...
are we playing russian roulette / thai surprise?!
yes! transgender paupers of this world...
sorry.. it's mammon / money... "again"...
you don't look convincingly fuckable...
hence my trans-"phobia"...
fuck me, at least with spiders its
a case of a funny fear...
funny = irrational fear...
as long as a spider does intricate web-art...
i'm fine... the moment i see a hairless..
freak... that spins its web that's
associated with cotton candy
and lazy afternoons in an oven,
that's a shed... that's... it!
i'm done... i turn into a fucking sissy
ballerina the moment i spot one of these fuckers...
a tarantula all hairy and in sensation
like an inflateable ball of cat-esque
bumfluff regurgitation..
sure...
but those semi-large fuckers
bigger than my thumb acting all innocent
but playing the voyeur role...
anorexic limbs, cobwebs like cotton...
get, me, away, from, these... freaks!

well, yeah... the modern take on the transgender movement
a platonic reinterpretation of reincarnation,
the greek model would suggest...
a rapist is reincarnated into the body
of a female...
looks like tha platonic toilet of time
has been... blocked...
for a very long time... given the numbers
of people associating themselves
as trans- having no prior memory
of being found guilty of a crime
against the opposite sex...
even then... reincarnation binding
to a trans-sexual escapade...
what if i don't remember /
don't want to...
what if this celestial gender-re-assignment
suits me such fine?
what if what if ad nauseam toward
the "conclusion" ad hominem
without an ad hoc alternative...
is...
as much forward thinking as:
and when they cut the hair of samson...
while shaving the beard of jesus
x+ y = z happened...
that was made into a determinative
conclusion of a waiting statement:
z squared. sorry, but at this point?
only flimsy logic works...
try peering one inch above your hairline /
let alone your head...
is like gaping into the jaws
of a chimera...
the less you see... the more you know.

... and i would reproduce into the current pedagogy
environment, hijacked by the sort of queers
i wouldn't even kiss?
here's to eating the next few hundred
poultry genocides of poached eggs
each coming of breakfast...
here's to comitting the next few hundred
genocides on the throne of thrones
while pissing, inverting the practice
of anal (sorry, even though not speaking
from experience... taking a shit feels better
than pushing a hard-on turd in),
and ejaculating into a tissue with the added
sense of: flush & rinse...
here's to not seeing the sort
of eternity associated with christopher
hitchen's atheism of:
passing on the genes...
fuck the genes... here's to the meme
tapeworm of the mind....
not in this sort of environment...
when grammar is kept ransom at
gunpoint... by... you know...
i do come from a once warsaw pact
soviet satellite state,.,
the fuck are you doing?!
are you so glued to gagging
for the next bubonic plague that you'd allow
shit to become as so rotten
that no fly would even mind an evening's
worth of a wine for two,
and regurgitated spew to mind...
atheists and their concern for genes...
isn't biological reality being hijacked
by chemistry lingo,
notably via the exclusive chemistry
prefixes associated with isomers... cis-
and trans-....
what are these people selling:
dummies guide to faustian poetics?!
what if i was to gravitate toward
the remaining prefixes...
what if a trans-gender "individual"
came across as a meta-sexual?
meta- is an assured prefix for what the chemists
might call "north"...
i am probably wrong to suggest
such a summary... then again..
i did associate meta- with, "north"... or:
i'm an ortho-hyper-sexed-up-prudish-bunny!
"redefining" biological reality...
using chemistry's exclusive prefixes...
trans-, ortho-, meta-, para-, cis-,
even though i came from their bosom,
i am pretty sure the western powers
can be at least, nostlagic about
the former soviet powers
at least the old powers sought out
intellectual equals...
there can be no variation of an intellectual equal
given the current constrictions of
expression...
once upon a time when one side knew
their economic advantage...
while the other side over-inflated theirs..
the soviets weren't stupid...
they were probably smarter than than the h'americans....
just look at what the conspiracy theories
surround 2016 looked like...
russian election meddling...
what's apparent now?
h'american social media firms actively meddling
in the 2020 elections...
the soviets like chess...
they like waiting...
the h'americans were always too impulsive...
jumped ship before the rats even began to
announce their first concepts of a mutiny...
the h'americans....
sure thing: they gave us slayer...
such were the wonders of 20th century end zenith
globalisation... via the mechanisation of export....
imagine movies based around new york:
circa 1998 - 2000 - such gloat....
such... pride such an assurance of a self...
such... comedy of the mediocre...
people who took themselves so seriously
they replaced slaptstick with canned laughter
of a non-existent crowd...
they peered the way they should have:
down the guts of ed gein and ted "the pundit" bundy...
while the whole world rattled and became
enthralled with the joys to be later felt
in countries such as Iran...
why? em... didn't the h'americans
favour funding the Saudi arabs?!
well fuck me sherlock and a holmes...
aren't you just the pretty one...
observant subserviant 2nd cue of a clue also likely?!
come the death of a pirate's parrot that said:
cluedo! and thus the pharisees convened
to... bank on the testimony of
the most deserving stipend...
to forgo any investment in the coming of
a barmitzva celebration.
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