I joked that I was the problem in all my past flings, saying I didn’t believe in a marriage held together by sterling rings. This was supposed to keep you at bay, so I could keep loving you from an arm's length away. We walked to the corner of Anderson and Erwin, your bike alongside us, going at a lazy spin. “I’ve been falling in love with you”, your eyes on mine, brown and blue. I’ll cherish that moment forever, even now as I am planning our sever. No one is to blame; you did nothing wrong. I just can’t keep hurting myself the same. 
Growing up, Mama tried; she didn’t know when she promised me love and peace that she had lied. On her bad days, she was a force that I feared; she taught me early when to disappear. I swore to myself that I would learn to love different, that I wasn’t broken, but bent. So with you, I communicated, I learned to give the hugs that Mama had hated. I focused so much on doing everything right that I didn’t notice your need for flight. A few days, then a week, I texted, I called, you hid, and I tried to seek. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing to do with us”, and I felt silly for making a fuss. 
Then you left again, leaving me a worrying mother hen. I don’t know if you also had a wire-doll of a mother, or if you’ve been overwhelmed by the drama with your brother. I don’t know how to help you from the other side of this door, but I know that you and I cannot be anymore. I need someone stable, who shows up, whose words are as trusted as a fable. I hope what you need finds you, be it a therapist or someone new. Funny how you held me for just a fraction of our lives, but I’ll remember you like bees remember hives. Warm and bright, inviting me in only to turn out the light. All I ask is when you tell me about your next love, please be curt, I don’t know if my happiness for you will outweigh my hurt.