Jeffrey Pipes Guice

New Orleans
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The Old Days

This was Bourbon Street in the old days...
When my grandparents would go out for a thrill...
But Grandpa would say “Only once in a while!”
When it came time to pay their bar bill...

The entertainment that night was named Rosebud...
She danced on Fridays at The Sho Bar...
If you put some singles in her panties...
You might end up getting pretty far...

But Grandpa would start drinking the highballs...
Forgetting Granny was sitting near by...
He would pull out a single and put it near Rosebud...
Then try to rub it against her thigh...

Now Grandma would enjoy her Irish...
Always insisting on filling her glass...
If she ever caught Gramps with his pants down...
She would immediately kick him in the brass...

So Grandpa kept one eye on Rosebud...
As she danced her way across the stage...
But he kept his other good eye on Grandma...
In case she was about to go into her rage...

That night my grandparents were drinking heavy...
And Rosebud was dancing real slow...
As she shook her money maker at Grandpa...
Grandma decided it was time to go...

Now Grandpa was feeling kinda lucky...
Like maybe Rosebud would go home with him that night...
But Grandma got tired of his advances...
She broke a bottle and wanted to fight...

So The Sho Bar bouncer called the police...
And they took my grandparents off to jail...
I know this because I got a call from Grandpa...
Telling me to bring money so I could pay their bail...

It’s tough growing up in New Orleans...
We’re a small town and everyone knows...
When you constantly bail both grandparents out of pokey...
It’s embarrassing to write this prose...

Now Grandma passed away last Summer...
Grandpa died a week after that...
Rosebud ran off with the bouncer...
Before Gramps could finally swing his bat...

So the moral of this story...
If you ever visit The Sho Bar...
Leave the wife home with her Irish...
You might end up getting pretty far...

© 2021 Jeffrey Pipes Guice
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