Diagnosis Murder's a right good TV show.
Ol'Doc Sloan's old but he ain't gittin' slow.
He gits on a case, he's like a blood hound pup,
He gits the scent 'n' he gits all fired up.
Tha thang I reckon I don't quite unnerstand,
Why don't they fire alla tha cops 'n' keep this man?
Tha writer what writ this here TV show,
'D be a right good 'tective hisself by now you know.
Tha cases fer Sloan, they ain't never too old,
Fer him tha trail o' clues, they never git cold.
He jist sniffs 'n' scratches till someone 'fesses.
Ol' Sloan knowed whilst other'ns jist had guesses.
Ol' sloan, he's mighty smart 'n' aweful danged slick,
'Twixt murder cases he finds time ta heal tha sick.
He's doctor, lawyer, 'tective, friend 'n' injun chief,
They ain't narry a chance fer murderer or thief.
Too bad it's jist 'n' ol' TV mystery show,
We shore do need one like him 'round though.
Reckon iffen we did, in 'bout six munts time,
He'd rid tha country o'alla its real bad crime.